Nobody wants to see you, baby/Nobody wants to see you, baby–Allrighters, “Nobody Wants To See You, Baby” (2013)
Research proves that nobody wants to see your vacation pictures on Facebook!
According to online sources, people took 10 billion photos in 1970. Today the number is approximately 400 billion. “Not Will Ferrell” put it perfectly when he tweeted:
“Neil Armstrong lands on moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Starbucks: 46 pictures.”
People are compulsive image hoarders. Why? It’s due in no small part to the fact that it’s pretty much free to hoard images and easier than self-publishing a free e-book. As one veteran vacationer put it–we point and shoot again and again until suddenly we’ve electronically amassed two thousand pics from a normal one-week vacation.
Well, guess what, boys and girls? The fact is no one gives a rodent’s posterior about your trip to Disneyland in a well-used rental RV. Experts report that you should just do us all a big favor and keep your vacation photos off of Facebook for the near future.
For those of you who are confused, here is a handy, dandy helpful condensed list:
- No silly posts in which you refer to your spouse, mate or fellow traveler as “this one” (Anyone who cares probably already knows way too much about him/her since you use Facebook as a diary)
- No pictures of tropical cocktails (Even your poor but honest friends and family under 80 can go to the library and Google “tropical drinks”. Besides, while your friends and family might know you’re the reason why the other relatives hide the good booze every holiday get together, there’s always a small chance your boss still doesn’t know you’re one Bahama Mama away from an alcohol-related work incident.)
- No pre-night-out-on-the-town selfies (Even if you’re hot, ladies, while strangers would enjoy seeing you in that slutty little dress you were saving for Easter, your Dad, religious leader, and employer might get the “wrong” idea.)
- No shots of what’s for dinner (unless maybe you’re eating virgin boy eggs or sucking down some chilled snake penis wine right out of the labeled bottle)
But seriously, folks, your mom might want to see your vacation photos. (What else is there to do at that cheap nursing home, anyway?) Your best friend is pretty much obligated to look at them or give up the esteemed title of “BFF” but a team of highly-skilled research scientists has determined that your vacation pics will only serve to annoy the majority of your Facebook friends.
Indeed, a research study conducted by Aviva indicated that 73 percent of respondents admitted they get upset when they see other people’s vacation photos posted online. Additionally, the research revealed that the most detested pose of all is one in which you shoot a picture of your legs while on the beach and add the caption: “Hot dogs or legs?”
The Aviva study also indicated that while it clearly annoys nearly three-quarters of their Facebook friends, 77 percent of people share holiday updates on Facebook and other social media. Out of that 77 percent, one in five subjects confessed that they do it in order to “show off” about where they are vacationing and one in 10 do it in order to make others back home “jealous.”
The propositions director at Aviva, Adam Beckett told the press: A holiday is, for many, a time to switch-off and have a rest but it would seem that taking a break doesn’t apply to social media. Long gone are the days when the first time” vacationers would see their photos was at the photo counter after they arrived back home. Now people share their vacation “memories as soon as they happen, and with a much wider circle of friends and family.”